Here's a periodic table that's more periodic than most, although even this could be rearranged. For example, I don't see fandom as noble gases. But the "chemicals" that make up various stories are appropriate, I'd say. (And here's where I got it.)
In no particular order: Biochemistry professor at Seattle Pacific University, book-reader, occasional bloviator, husband, father of three, no, four boys, structural immunologist, Christian, protein designer, baritone, bad guitarist, complex set of chemical reactions, sometimes oblivious human.